from Loyal Subjects
are comments I received via email and on the back of
my voting forms:
future King I hereby announce myself as your most
trusted senior royal advisor, and trust that lands,
estates, women (not children), vehicles and the
royal mint be herewith granted to my possession
in gratitude for my loyal and humble service in
the betterment of your majesty. Terence "The Advisor"
McKenna PS your majesty- be aware of unscrupulous
persons attempting to flatter you in order to gain
favour. These scoundrels are not to be trusted Sire.
forget to design an environmentally friendly and
GE Free non toxic throne for your exclusive use,
your Majesty. (One that does not smell).
the Citizens of Haumoana rejoice that you have entered
the election for the title of King and I, and all
loyal friends will work to ensure that this is a
foregone conclusion. All your loyal subjects will
devote their efforts to ensure you reign with their
love and devotion. I am sure that such loyalty by
my humble self will be amply rewarded by you and
it may occur to you in what manner you can do this.
I suggest you give me the sole rights to distil
spirits, brew beer and make wine on a national scale.
There would be a substantial excise duty which your
Finance Minister would see figures in your personal
account. Assuring you of my faithful loyalty and
support. I remain your humble servant.
I lived there I would vote for you andy your my
hero. You can be my king any day. You need to turn
your house into a castle all kings live in castles
does this make bec a queen and those little rascal
kids of yours princes and a princess, if so they
have to dress like william and harry and go to posh
schools ha ha hah
Yes, I fully support Your campaign to become King
of Haumoana! As far as suggestions for Kingly duties
are concerned, I think it would set a good example
if You were to Pontificate in Public Places. Furthermore,
I think You should gather together a Royal Army
and annex the Principality of Te Awanga. Not only
would this extend the Boundaries of Your Realm,
but it would forestall the possibility of dangerous
liberal beliefs seeping into Your Kingdom. As You
know, the decadent bomhemians of Te Awanga are a
mischievous lot, and the area has long beed regarded
as a hot bed of seditious rebellion.
Long Live the King!
Andy I have tried but can't find anywhere to vote
for you. I went to the NZ High commission here in
london yesterday to vote in the general election
and looked around for the more important polling
booth - that for voting for the king of haumoana.
unfortunately i couldn't find it! the staff just
looked at me as if i were crazy or perhaps a relative
of the wife of that crazy man in haumoana. Where
can I vote?
think you are awesome. Handsome and sexy, I want
to have your children . . . no, wait . . . I already
I bow before you Sire, and touch your feet, on behalf
of the Vikings of Dunedin.... All the best in your
quest to become the rightful King of Haumoana. You
have got Royal style indeed.
the Baldest (I'm not afraid to make a twat of
myself either LOL)
Where is Haumoana, and is there a Fiord that I may
sail my long boat into on your Coronation?
Your Henious! An excellent success! I particularly
like your heraldic shield. What about making the
goat as the basis of currency (I think this is your
idea already, sire), however as real goats are real
pricks might I suggest that a token goat becoms
the coin of the realm? A small goat shaped coin
with your personnage on the rear (not of the goat
Your Henoius!). This could become legal tender for
all transactions throughout the royal realm of Haumoana!
With best regards for your prosperity, your loyal
(and only trusted) advisor.
an old grandmother, I can also say I have done the
polar bear plunge bit. My husband offered me two
bottles of whiskey if I would retrieve from the
pool, a large pot plant that had overturned. He
knows I hate the cold! After a hot shower one recent
warmish morning, I had this misguided thought that
I could jolly well do it. So I did! (In the buff!
- Not a pretty sight!) It never occured to me that
I would have to dive for it,but because it was so
heavy, I couldn't lift it out with a scoop. With
my extra winter weight, asthma, poor eyesight and
bobbing down in the pool, I really earned my two
friends!. But the poor, old plaster frog that I
knocked over in my whale-like struggles may have
to wait till summer! So hang onto your royal fluffy
From your loyal subject
you think, once voted in, you will extend your kingdom,
like maybe palmy, as we need a king here
sure have my vote for "KING" Andy.
Majesty, a moment of your precious time we crave
A message from Hilltop Hiccup the Prudent, being
Have just applied the Loyal Subject Name Generator
And greatly surprised at name thou givest
Upon a Hilltop we doth livest
Emboldened by this great sign
And hoping I can carry this rhyme
I stumbled upon the Coat Of Arms of your Great Kingdom
And discovered an answer to questions aplenty
We had vexing us for years, namely one and twenty
For long long ago whilst stumbling along Clifton
Beach, courting my Merry Prince
We must have spied a 3-legged Gannet, for in Waipukurau
we have resided ever since!.
your Majesty!! Have been following your campaign
avidly and we are thrilled for you. Are you going
to have a coronation? As King of Mangakuri Beach
I may be able to assist because, as you no doubt
are aware, there are one or two protocols which
need to be observed. Let me know if you have any
doubts about anything.
Mark of Mangakuri
A hearty Omedetoo gozaimasu from the top of Japan
(well around about the nipples actually, but who's
arguing?). Well done old boy. I have followed your
campaign closely and was heartily relieved to say
the least that you were successful in the end.
It was good to meet you. Are you an orphan? Do you
need a Mother? Or a Grand mother, perhaps? I would
be happy to play the Queen Mother role if I can
find a proper hat and stuff, at regal occasions.
I, or We , too, are artists and enjoy a bit of the
lime light and scandalous behavior associated with
our status. And We are of an age where We can cope
with the media attention which We inevitably attract.
Which makes me wonder...does Haumoana have a newsletter?
I know Te Awanga does.
Nanz (Liz Earth)